I Am A Christian

I wish I written this. =) It says exactly how I feel.

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin".
"I'm whispering "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than you,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.

It's so weird when I think about who I was about a year ago. I've changed so much it actually freaks me out a bit sometimes. I'm still the same person, most of the same interests, likes, dislikes. But I've matured, and realized so many things about life. And another weird thing is, I'm going to keep changing. So maybe a year from now I'll look back and be amazed at my silliness or ignorance.

On a less serious note, I have vacation this week!! =) Soooo happy!
Pride and Prejudice was amazing. Bekah was incredible, and I laughed a lot. Now I really have to buy the movie. =) Sense and Sensibility is a really good movie, I think you (all the people who love Pride and Prejudice) would love it. =) Maybe. I don't know. Watch it and tell me.
I have no idea what I'm doing this summer, I think I'm leaning toward not being a S-I-T at Berea. =/ Sorry Tori. It's just not working out so far. I'm still praying about it though. Your prayers would be much appreciated!! =)

Finally

My current (it changes often) favorite song, that I have replayed a billion times is "Finally," by Fergie. Now the cover of her single cd cover, is not the greatest...neither really is she. But this song is amazing. And I think if you ignore what she's most likely singing about (her fiancee), you can imagine it's you, to God. (I'm such a sap...) It's the most amazing thing. Here are the lyrics, and the music is beautiful too. I'm not exactly sure what the exact lyrics, because diffrent places have some different lines, and it's not completly crystal clear in the song. So here's what I thought it was.

Finally by Fergie

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme
Crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day
That I would have to wait
Make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend
As I watched it unfold
This classic story told
I left it in the cold
Walking through unopened doors that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth
I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know I needed to grow
And finally my maze has been solved

[chorus]

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

I remember the beginning you already knew
I acted like a fool
Just trying to be cool
Frontin' like it didn't matter
I just ran away
Put on another face
Was lost in my own space
Found what it's like to hurt selfishly
I was scared to give up me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I had made
I finally got out of my own way
I've finally started living for today
I finally know I needed to grow
And finally my maze has been solved

[chorus]

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

I just have to post this before Meghan does. Cuz she threatened she would.
So uhmm, Saturday, I learned something about myself.
I have an irrational fear of turkeys. Especially on the male turkeys, the thing that hangs down from their throat, apparently called the "wattle." ??
I mean it's just creepy!!! And maybe I'm really not afraid of turkeys, they were just very ominous that night...
Get it over with and take a good long, laugh. Then move on. =P

Ephesians 6: 10-13

This morning, (now actually) I felt myself going a bit...nutty. I felt stress from school and basically my life. I realized I needed peace, spiritually peace, so I started reading where I left on in Ephesians, (I love Paul's writings!!!) and I read these verses, and they're just amazing! They have to do with some of what I've been dealing with, and I just can't believe how good our God is. Does any of that make sense? Sorry my thoughts are a bit jumbled. =) Here are the verses!

Ephesians 6: 10-13
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but agaisnt the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spirtual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

SO AMAZING!!! Ahhhhh!! I'd say more about them, but my mom is telling me to come. I don't know what she wants me to do, but above these verses it says obey your parents...so no commentary for now. =)

Sometimes I wish people weren't so hard to understand.
Sometimes I wish people wouldn't stay quiet and hide their true feelings.
Sometimes I wish society just didn't...exist.
Sometimes I wish I could hide, and ignore all the issues around me.
Sometimes I wish we could just all be the same, no uniqueness...
Maybe then...there would be no jealously, greed, misunderstanding, pain, confusion.
But above all that; when I forget my petty problems, and my selfishness, He's there. He's in it all. He's with me always. If I can only put my pride away, and trust, I'll be ok.
All I want is honesty. Modesty. Love. Forgivness. Mercy. Understanding. THE TRUTH.
Can I only find that in Him? Prove me wrong world. That's all I wish sometimes...

I feel like posting, aren't you lucky? ^_^

My whole family is sickly. 'Cept my dad. Which is really good cuz it's tax season (he's an accountant) and it's his busiest time of the year.
But my mom, myself, Grace and Molly are all sick. So if you could, please pray for us! =) I really want to go to youth group. Who wouldn't????

My mom is making me read Shakespeare for school, and I choose Macbeth to start with, because it's a dark, morbid story. Ok not exactly morbid, but it has a lot of murder. I'm sorry but I like stuff like that!! Too much Monk, Psych and House. Hehehe.
I'm actually really enjoying it! Some of it I have to read twice, or thrice (that's a funny word), but I like it a lot. I tried reading Shakespeare a couple of years ago, and I didn't like it. But now that I'm older I can appreciate it. Maybe it's because I'm a hopeless romantic. (by the way, "romantic" doesn't always have to do with "love," it also can mean, "fanciful; impractical; unrealistic; imaginary; fictitious, or fabulous." thank you dictionary.com)
I don't think everyone can love Shakespeare, unless it's an acquired taste.
But I'm glad I do.

UpDaTe oN mY LiFe

Here's an update on my life, since I don't really know what else to post. Hehe. =)
I can officially drive today! My mom was willing to take me out to some parking lot, but I didn't really want to while it was wet out. Uhmm yeah.
I have acquired a superpower!! It's called "napping." I'm actually slightly digusted with myself because I can't stop myself from falling asleep when I'm on the couch or one of my lovely leather chairs. I think it's just a bunch of things hitting me at once.
I've discovered P.O.D. a Christian rock band. Go check out "Youth of the Nation" it's amazinggggg.
Emma has a blog!!! =) www.narnianwriter.blogspot.com. Go check it out!
I forgot to post that I went protesting at a Jehovah Witness Hall a couple of weeks ago with the Lareau's and their friends. It was really amazing, we didn't yell or anything, just held signs and smiled. If you don't know anything about the Jehovah Witnesses you should....GOOGLE IT!
Gosh I love to Google things. I'm such a Googler. (hehehehe)
I have a lot on my heart right now, so if I don't post for a little bit it's just cuz I have some spiritual and emotional sorting out to do.
I should mention the youth group all-nighter. It was so much fun!!! I felt like I was on drugs (to clarify I really don't know how that feels, HAHA.) the rest of the day, and time was really wacked out. But it was awesome. =)
Later.